I don’t like change. It grates and disrupts, like sand. Once I’ve established a good routine, I am happy to continue in it forever. It’s comfortable and predictable. What’s not to like?

But I’ve been learning that perhaps comfort isn’t the highest end in life. Change happens no matter what I want. Recently, I’ve stopped bucking against it so much and have seen its useful instruction.

It started with little things, culminating in significant breakthroughs that had eluded me for years.

A Bad Egg

Being of a certain age, I regulate my diet carefully. I understood that protein at the beginning of the day is beneficial, and eggs are a good source of it. Great, I love eggs and ate about one every day. After my annual bloodwork showed that my cholesterol was high, I considered stopping that habit. In defiance, I looked into eggs first. It turned out one a day isn’t bad. That wasn’t the problem. I learned boiled eggs only last about a week in the refrigerator. We have been boiling large quantities and eating them for weeks. That explained why some eggs had a disintegrating consistency and why I’d been having stomachaches. That cholesterol disruption saved me from continuing to eat rotten eggs and probably far worse upsets to my health.

Picky Tastes

When it comes to entertainment, I have distinctive tastes, separated by medium. For TV shows, I like British mysteries, period pieces, and police procedurals. If it’s movie length, I love superhero flicks, science fiction, action & adventure, and suspense thrillers. Some overlap is okay, like a mystery movie or a fantastic literary adaptation on the large screen (The Lord of the Rings). Or a sci-fi TV show, like the Expanse. But not with books. I only read fantasy and cozy mysteries. Everything else I find tedious. Especially science fiction.

I’m currently reading a wonderful epic fantasy series, full of swords, sorcery, and characters, just the way I like. At some point, a sneaking suspicion came upon me. The fourth book confirmed it. I was reading science fiction. I won’t tell you the series or the author, because I don’t want to give away any spoilers. But after getting over the shock, I realized there is a reason science fiction and fantasy are often grouped together, and in a certain context, I can actually enjoy reading science fiction. Wow, that was an eye-opener, and no mistake!

Fooling Time

For decades, I have been late to church. It’s embarrassing and infuriating. Every Saturday, I intend to wake up early the next day. Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don’t. But either way doesn’t seem to make much difference.

The disposition stems from my being a night owl. I can stay up long past midnight and still be rearing to go. But on the other side, mornings are anathema to me. To exacerbate my waking-up problem is my slow morning routine. In fact, whenever I had to be anywhere before 10:00am, I would have to take a shower the night before, which I dislike. Among other things, it leads to bedhead and the inability to exercise in the morning.

However, a few weeks ago, I concluded that this was the only way I could get to church on time. I hated the idea, but I don’t need to wash my hair or exercise on Sunday. As expected, it has disrupted my weekends, and I’m still adjusting to it. But I get to church on time now. It’s a small sacrifice to gain a lot of time. On balance, I think it’s worth it.

The Big One

Finally, I tackled my great white whale.

Again, it has to do with managing time. Ever since I’ve been able to write full-time, I have been staying up increasingly later at night and waking up correspondingly late. Also, I puttered about too much, taking hours before finally getting to writing. It distressed me to no end, but I could not reverse the trend. I prayed about it for years but remained stuck in this cycle.

Then came a disruption that forced my hand. We need to remodel our bathroom. For weeks, contractors would be in my house early in the morning. So, I had to distill all the essential activities and determine when I must wake up to achieve them before the workers arrived. In the weeks leading up to the start date, I rearranged my schedule and woke up earlier, redeeming hours of productivity. Yet, I still could not rise early enough. I wasn’t sure what would happen.

On the fateful day, I inexplicably woke up in time to be ready. And every day since, I’ve been able to make it, even when I’ve hit the snooze button too often. I am so amazed and thankful. I had looked at this bathroom project with dread and resentment because it would rip up my house, cut into my budget, and require me to accommodate other people. But it was exactly what I needed to topple a seemingly insurmountable challenge.

The bathroom project is ongoing, so I cannot tell you if this is a permanent coup. Yet, I’m optimistic and continue to pray for more miracles. Maybe I might get back to morning showers on Sundays soon.

What If?

I still look askance at change, preferring the ease of the familiar. However, I admit it could broaden my mindset and embolden me. So many more things seem possible.

My exercise machine is on its last leg. My first inclination was to fret. I love this machine; what will I do without it? But now I wonder: Maybe I can try a new machine which will work new muscles, or… Dare I join a gym?

I am almost done with the Far Stone Cycle. What should I write next? I could go for another epic fantasy, but what about something different, maybe even … sci-fi? No, too soon. But at least I’m considering it. I feel a bit unstoppable. Perhaps sticking with comfort might have simply been an expression of fear.